You'll find yourself

Hey all,

it's been yonks since I've made an appearance here.

loads has been happening.

In a nut shell:

got a car (white myvi) and totalled it agaisnt a coconut tree - pictures. please gasp as loud as possible.

working as an intern at G2 under the BAT account. -which y'all might not know stands for British American Tobacco.

hmmm... still no sign of a boyfriend. - pffft.. like that's new.

Today, took the KTM for the first time in my life.

a first for taking public transportation to work. - damn those aunties are ganas when they wanna fight for seats)

booked me plane tickets to study in The Land Down Under. but guess what, I've yet to apply for uni, and I leave on the 23rd of June. - great great..what if you don't get accepted into RMIT?

dyed my hair from strawberry blonde to a dark mahogany brown. - albeit, it's losing it's dark sheen after a week of washing and I think i can see some blonde streaks. so it's more of a golden brown

Drastic reduction in clubbing / partying - I'm getting old..TOO old.

.....that should be bout it.

I'm fuckin' tired right now. was in meeting for almost half the day.

so, tata people.

Just hold me, kiss me, and say that I'll be fine

Hello all,
it's been a while since I've blabbered here..

Anyways, nothing spectacular has happened really in the past uhh.. 2 weeks??

mmm..well, maybe there's one..
last Sunday, momsie finally let me take the car out
ON MY VERY OWN!
Yes! Your eyes deceive you not!
I was utterly literally on cloud 9 as they might put it.
After momsie went to her mom's place to visit,
I took the car out and went to buy daddy's favorite food like
vadai (those indian fried stuff one that's made with dhal and one that looks like a doughtnut but has spices and onion inside of it) and cendol in SS15.
then I got some KFC to share with WeiYen and some other stuff..
being in sucha good mood, I actually didn't mind blowing off the remainder of my allowances for my family.
In fact, I was totally broke after that.
But who the hell cares??
I was just too happy (:
later that evening I went to the gym,
why not further fuel the endorphin overdrive?
endorophins baybeh! ENDORPHINS!

just in case you don't know what endorphins are, they are this sorta hormone your body produces which elevates your mood. in other words, they make you happy.
so, gotta love 'em endorphins!
whoops, i think i've overdone it with the endorphins.
whoops! there I go again...
why not one more for the road?
ENDORPHINS! :D

Hmm..besides that, nothing much has been happening.
Haven't been partying much..
staying home like the good girls do. hahahha
yeah right, this home girl streak would only last so long.
sooner or later the party girl will be back.
hopefully :S

OMG!
I'm absolutely gaga over this!
What am I talking bout?
GOSSIP GIRL!
yes boys and girls.. GOSSIP GIRL!
you've gotte love the series, seriously.
watch it and you will know what i'm talking bout.
some of you might think its just a show about rich upper east side girls
partying, boozing and sexing.
defying their parent's orders, sneaking out and all that sterotypical jazz..
well, you thought wrong!
there's actually a moral to each episode and it really makes you dig down deep at times.
mother and daughter, father and son relationships, relationships,
winning losing, revenge, deceit, lies, learning who you are, admitting your mistakes and changing..
just a small portion of the GG enchilada..
to those skeptics out there and whatever holy sex is bad type of people ( not meaning to diss)
but just open yourself and don't judge too quickly,
you just might be wowed.
I just totally love the plots and the ending to Season 2!
I was screaming, jumping and clapping with joy,
gasping in horror and all that throughout the whole season.
the suspense and all..just makes it a god damned good series.
i would swear better than Heroes.
I never got the hype to why it was so good,
it got boring in the next season..
like totally yawnnns..

I ♥ Blair!
in so many ways you don't know..
great role model type.
and she's totally got brains, and she's pretty, fashionable, hot..
oh, me likeyyy.


Anyhoo..
it's crunch time for me.
gotta study for tests, do assignments, project planning strategies...
oh dear god, we're all gonna die D:

time to work it baby!
taa' bitches! ---OUT

You're half a world away, but in my mind I whisper every single word you say..

Hey ya'll..
THIS is must blog about...
FREEDOM '09!!

I swear! A&B were fanfuckingtastically awesome!!
Sadly, they had to end at 2.
Damn the authorities ):
Ken was so upset when he couldn't meet them..
aww...next time Ken.

Ken came around 3 after picking Kevin up,
left for Malacca round 3.45?? after picking up Negar and Sara.
Reached round half and hour to 6, got dinner at the most civilized place Ken's GPS could find which was KFC


I think that was the hippest restaurant in town. hahaha..
after dinner got the essentials for our drinks, red bull, coke, ice.. and off to A'Famosa.
just as soon as we parked, Ken set up his mini bar at the back of his car.
First time Kev, Ken and I had red bull as a mixer.
Damn, it IS good..
couldn't taste the whiskey at all, prompting me to drink more. hehehh..

Somewhere along the line while we were drinking and lounging on the hoods of other ppls cars, some Singaporean car that was parked next to us backed up to leave, to their dismay the driver drove them into a ditch and couldn't get out.
So, who came to the rescue? Ken of course! haha
took them a few tries to get the car out.
the bumper, ..lets just say it didn't have a happy ending.

Singaporean women drivers..tsk tsk

this is priceless,
not long after, I busted my upper lip in effort of opening the car door.
sorry, no pictures.

So, after consuming half a bottle of Black Label,
made our way to the event.
along the way we haggled with the salesgirls for those blinking bangles.

It took us about 5 or 6 checkpoints where they'd check your bag, tix, shoes, clothes and whatsoever before we could finally get onto the grounds.

Tooki pictures, played games, saw the Expression stage and then made it to the main stage.

Chilled there for abit cos no one was actually there yet.

At 10, left for the car/mini bar to get more booze and got back in time for Tydi .
On the way back into the grounds, Ken and I were super high and we were like power walking as fast as we could to the entrance and then to the stage.
Along the way, we haggled more for glowsticks to wear as bangles and make chains.
We were so tipsy we were giggling and laughing and arm in arm made out way to the main stage as fast as we could get while the other went to use the port-a-toilets.
We were smack, right in front of the stage!
Met HanChen in the crowd. Who can't spot his awesome tatts?

Tydi wsa great, awesome beats.

After an hour or two jumping, screaming and dancing and shouting Tydi's name,
he left and it was A&B's turn.
Ken, Sara and I went nuts!
we <3>

only 2 of its members Tony and Paavo were there sadly.

Don't think I need to say much bout their perfomance.
you guys already know what I'm gonna say. hehe
the bass was so strong it was messing with my heartbeat,
Sara, Negar and I couldn't take it at a point and went to sit and enjoy the laser show.

and I fell asleep..guess cos of the alco and woke up when i heard satellite and ran back to where Ken and the rest were.
can you believe a cup of water cost us RM7?!? insane..
it's just water yo'!

In the end, they had to stop spinning at 2.
god damned authorities ;(
poor ken, he was so disappointed.
should've seen the look on the poor boy's face.
awww...

after the show was over we sat around and powered up with KFC again..
then left to Negar's friend's bungalo,
we called it the Iranian after party,
since we were all too tired we made out way back to KL.

I nodded off in the car only to wake up when we reached Sara's place.
After dropping them off, went to kevin's house. Since me and Ken planned to have dim sum, we rested at kev's place since it was still 6 am in the morning.
Ken watched National Geographic and all while i fell asleep on the couch,
woke up at 8 and off to dim sum.
After brekkie Ken sent me home, slept for an hour then went out for lunch.

I shall end there...
i know its getting god damned boring.

A&B!
sorry Steve Aoki, I'll see you next time (:

Things change..

The Bloody Beetroots ft. Steve Aoki - WARP (click me! (:)

This song fucking rules!
Another great hit from Aoki.
It's playing on my imeem playlist..so enjoy!

AOKI or FREEDOM?

I'm seriously rethinking my choice of going for FREEDOM and missing Steve Aoki.
Thinking bout it, I can save a whole lotta money if I choose Steve Aoki,
I'm giving up Mr DimMak for Ken's FREEDOM and Above&Beyond..
sighh..and I have no clue whether ......forget it..
Maybe I should start swearing off men for a while...
considering the fact that I am an EPIC FAILURE when it comes to guys..
holygeeezussbeeezusss
guess it's nerding for me and boys off my mind..
haha..we'll just see how long THAT holds up.

been packing on the pounds..
A BIG NONO!
oh i dunno..
I'm totally in denial with myself..
so much in denial..it's practically stupid.
I should be shot!

EDIT
yesterday to our dismay, we didn't get to eat at Shogun,
the line was freaking ass long!
I had to wait 2 pages full of names till I get my table.
we were all VERY disappointed, and in the end we had Hartz Chicken Buffet
WHICH i would like to announce to the world is totally rubbish.
Albeit we paid RM21 which is pretty cheap and the roasted and fried chicken were (thankfully) juicy and not dry,
the rest of the stuff there was utter shit. cheap ass zero quality food.
no wonder the place is packed during fasting month.
So SO disappointed ...grrr!
hopefully we can go next week,
I'm DYING for some jap food!
This time, I've learnt to make reservations (:

---OUT

1..2..WHOOP WHOOP!

Am I invisible, cos you see me right through..

Hello y'all!
Yep, it's me again.
It's been a week since I started my second semester of the year,
trying to get the hang of things such as waking up before 8am **groan,
sitting through hours of lectures and paying attention and the usual assignments, projects blah blah blah..

Just completed a part of one of my projects of the semester,
and its a CSC project. Finally something I actually have the upper hand at
among all these computing stuff. Blogging!
Here's the lowdown, with 3 in a group (Esther, Janice and myself), we're require to maintain a blog about a certain matter (e-Shopping) and each of us have to post at least a post every week for 10 weeks, which mean 3 posts per week totaling to 30 posts within the time frame of 10 weeks. Not gonna go into much detail with this, but if you wanna check it out head to http://before-you-buy.blogspot.com/. comment, chat, put up some ideas if you wanna, that'd be awesome popopossumm.

Something that's been bothering me bout this new sem..
I'm very well afraid I'd flunk this sem considering the fact I didn't do so well the last
also due to the fact that bleeping New INTI decided to revise it's whole grading system
making it hard to score like Monash's system.
But credits to Monash for having such a jaw droppingly fantabulous campus.
I was literally OOHH-ing and AAHHHH! - ing every where Ken Loong took me.
It's just aaaammmmmazzzinnng!
Now THAT's what I call higher education.
C'mon look at INTI, such a vast difference.
Back on track,
well, yeah I'm afraid, but I'm gonna try.
wanna leave this place as soon as possible.
dear god! PLEASE!!

Now, I've got another 2 offers to for modeling,
however I don't have a portfolio,
mummy decided to allow me to create one so i can get jobs,
gotta call uncle Simon to help me with it since he is a professional photographer and all.
and yes, he's really my uncle.
hope it's not too expensive of mom will definitely change her mind.
an agency is requesting RM350 without a professional make up artist and RM500 with a make up artist and another was requesting RM600 with a make up artist.
Mommy's eyes definitely popped out of her skull when she heard the 600 and 500 bit.
heheheh. everytime comes with a price I would say.

Some stuff I'm looking forward to...

SHOGUN! with Cita(my maid) on Friday after college hours.
Since there's promo going on, might as well right?
I'm drooling thinking bout all the salmon sashimi, salmon head, cod head and oysters I can get my hands on! ***droooooollll

FREEDOM '09 with Ken Loong! Above and Beyond!
roadtrip and RAVE!
It's gonna be fucking through the roof!
Need I say more?
12 more days yo'!

Anyways, I'm out bitches!
FREEDOMMMM! ---OUT

Here we go again..

Now playing: Steve Aoki - D.A.N.C.E. (MSTRKRFT Remix, With Justice)

Hello all,
my 2 weeks are up.
back to Inti.(the hell hole)
it's literally a hell hole cos its so freakin hot.
went to college today to get enrolled,
stayed back, and boy did I regret it.
I was literally melting!!!
and worst of all, I was only wearing short shorts and a tube top.
I think I would roast and die if I wore a shirt and more covered up clothing.
die die die!
I really hate the heat **groan

And now..
good news! good news!
Patched things up with the parentals after I wrote them letter which was like 2 and a half pages long which took me all night to write and at least 20 pieces of paper torn up and thrown during the composing process.
Lots of tears were shed, but it's all worth it.
To end this bitter feud was the ultimate win.
However, it would not happen without the help and advice of
The Paul Fam aka Mr PaulMall, Ken Loong and Kenderick Lee
whom really listened and helped me through this ordeal.
Seriously, without you guys listening to my crap and blabber,
I would probably be sitting in a nutters home drooling and singing nursery rhymes backwards. hehe..
So, once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart (:

Now, me and Ken are absolutely raving bout this

FREEDOM '09!!

Above&Beyond, Ferry Corsten, Mike Schulz and more!
At A'Famosa,Melaka
for 2 DAYS OF FREEDOM!!
Clear your plates and set these dates!
you wouldn't wanna miss this!
Quick! visit the Freedom '09 site for more info!
If y'all are interested, gimme a call or PM (:
We'll plan something out.

I think is is all for now folks,
gotta hit the sack for my tv shoot tomorrow.
don't wanna go on the tele looking all crappy and shit.
Well boys and girls, this bitch it ---OUT

I guess you just don't know me..

Lotsa people mistake me for being the pampered,
the bitch, a whore/slut,the daddy's girl, party girl,
high maintainence..and whatever I've yet to hear of.....
which I'm sure I will sooner or later.

On the contrary you judgemental people,
I must say, you don't know even a ball's sack full bout me.
So before you stick such labels on me,
you better make god damned sure you know me.
I've had enough labels hanging off me than an
item on sale at the shopping malls.

All I see..

Right now, all I see are the digits on my Tanita electronic scale
rising to my horror day by day.
Back then, I'd have "panic attacks" and immediately swear to myself
that I'd cut back on the food and exercise more.
Nowadays, I seem to persuade myself that I "look good"
although that little voice that's ringing in my ears are telling me
' It's a lie. Why are you kidding yourself when you know how serious this is? '
Truth be told, yes, I do know that I am lying to myself.
And I've let myself go too far with all this "self lying/persuading".
Thanks to all that, I'm 5kgs overweight and
I'm not feeling good AT ALL.
Honestly, I feel disgusted with myself when my eyes catch a glimpse of my
increasingly padded frame day by day.
This is when the lying/persuading comes in.
Then I'd wander downstairs to find food, my comfort.
God! How I hate my lack of self control these days!

Somehow, I think its due to the emotional and psychological turmoil
that has been bubbling under the surface or quite some time now.
Hence the weight gain due to emotional eating.
Dr S thinks I should move out. and prolly cut ties with them.

Arguments with the parentals, relationships....
just some of the significant issues of the whole lot.
Sometimes, I wish I could run away from it all,
or just wave it away like a cloud of smoke.
But this is life baby,
nothing comes easy and its full of disappointments.

I think daddy is gonna cut ties off with me sooner or later,
the relationship between he and I has just gone way beyond saving.
I don't think I can take anymore of trying to please them,
trying to stand out and shine in their eyes.
Everytime I try, I'll screw up somewhere and somehow along the way,
and in the end, I get fucked for it.
And you don't know, I'm a people pleaser,
failing to please my parents just makes things worst for me.
and all I want is for them to love me.

Fuck 'em all!

Shuzy is very pissed right now.

Why?

Cos of some fucker who hates my guts.

The little miscarriaged 'PaulMall' foetus is staring at me. O_O
had too many for an hour.

Ahh whatever, just fuck it!
All my efforts down the drain.

I don't give a damn anymore. Period!

Go somewhere and stick it up your ass!!


.............
............
.........
.......

Fuck! even pouring my anger and hate into this post ain't working.
so much for therapeutic writing..
arrrghh!

*looks at foetus on box, looks like its gonna be you and me..

I was online with Mr P last night! :P

For those who are feeling very confused with the post title....
don't bother finding out.
It's just something really random that P asked me to do.
haha..See P! your identity is not revealed.
Don't want all the girls who thought. no, STILL think you're cute to
stalk you here as well. XP

Aaaanyways,
enough of P hogging the limelight for now..

For y'all who don't know, I'm officially on my 2 week sem break now.
No Inti, no 'snake' ( hisssss-hissssss), no assignments, no fucked up taxi drivers, no horny old stalking men and no AC for 2 blissful weeks.
BLISSFUL weeks?? who am I kidding?
You and I both know that I'll be at home rotting my brains out soon enough.
I need people to hang out with!
Be it day, night, mid night, morning..you name it!
You know what? This reminds me of Paris Hilton's BFF series.
I should probably hold auditions..hmmm?
Odds are tumbleweeds would be the only thing that would show up.
LOL.

hmm...yesterday was the first day of week 1.
this is what i did..
was up the whole night, Zhaf called at 5? then we chatted till 7.30am,
he came over, got lost in the process, went to wash his car at Caltex, fagged,
went to AC bout half an hour later, fagged some more, chatted, I ate,
his friend came, fagged some more, chatted more till 12pm.
got my order of fries, Zhaf sent me home and went back to AC for CC time.
boys..




Week 1 Day 2
Went to bed at 6am, got up at 10..went to the dentist all groggy and stuff.
fixed me tooth, had lunch right opposite the dentist's, saw Ame and Jinyi walking by,
went home for a bit, went to the IC department, updated my IC,
went to pyramid alone,got myself a flip flap ..those solar powered thingies in a pot.
had Carl's Jr fries..yummmms
and that yummy veg concoction they have at the dressing counter.
walked around like a fool some more
got myself some strawberries and cream from Gloria Jeans and PaulMall-ed. (inside joke)

hmmm..who knows what i'll be doing tomorrow.
..................................
.................................
.............................
.......................
geeez..I'm blank.
Oh well...

maybe I should hit the ice rink with Ziyin sometime soon.
my blades are dying to cut ice again.
its been aaaagggesss..

I'm BORED.
entertain me.
someone.
anyone.
please?

see ya bitches---OUT

I've found what I've been waiting for.

Now playing: Breaking Ties(Flow Mix) - Above&Beyond


Heylo..this is gonna be a quickie.
mmm..sorry bout not updating as often as I should
but lemme tell you. I've been up to my eyes in projects and assignments.
Most days, I don't even get as much as 3 hours of sleep! how heinous is that?
I can tell you what my late night muchies consist of..and i think those are the things that are actually keeping me alive right now.

Shuzy's late night food (lifeline)

1. carbonated drinks (7up/Sprite/Kickapoo/Excel/ F&N ZApple) - I add water to my drinks though, cos they are all too sweet.
   
2. Mamee Instant Noodles (Tom yam/vegetarian) or Mi Sedaap (chicken onion flavour) - sorry folks, I don't like Maggi Instant Noodles. I can literally taste the MSG in it.gross!
3. Tapioca chips
4. Bread
5. COFFEE! lots and lots of it! For some insanely odd reason, I like Tesco's Choice range of coffee.Somehow it tastes so much better than Nescafe.Dude..I'm serious bout this. I think its alot more milkier- ish? and it doesn't have that sharp sourish taste. So yeah, GO tesco!
6. Ice (?) <- can this be included in the list? I need alot of ice and water, I tend to overheat like a car engine. Need to keep cool or my brain will fry and I will eventually die. LAWL..

Hmmm.. that seems to be it. So yeah..that's my daily night binge while I crack my skull trying to complete 'em frickin assignments and projects.

I might not be bearing as many responsibilities as some particular classmates, but I've tried my best, I seem to be very incompetant at CSC and TV and Vid. CSC just makes me go all wide eyed and I'll stare at the screen for endless hours clicking every possible button in the Adobe Director programme till I so luckily tremble across the solution.

Essie, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry for calling you up whenever I can't find the solution, you're like a freaking pro at this. I'm just really blur at all this CSC stuff. thanks for all your help!

Next topic!

I'm officially 19 years old now.still young they say..yeah right. I think I can feel age catching up with my body as I age year by year.What am I saying?? I'm only 19 for christ's sake!
I'm not kidding. I DO feel the age, as my mom says whenever she sees signs of her unevitable aging.

Had a very short lived night at Barclub with my lovvies, close pals and some others who are tag-a-longs of friends. However the night went, and however I may have exposed myself to the world that night I wanna say thanks to my dearest brother Lum Ujin for organising the night for me, and taking care of me after he fed me the deadly 10 shots of tequilla for me to down in a cocktail glass and lastly for being there with me on the eve and morn of my turning of 19.

21 glasses of Black Label downed, 5 seconds from the bottle and 1o shots of pure tequilla on the rocks downed all on an empty stomach. Fucken insane right? That's the price you have to pay when it's your birthday and you have as many crazy friends as I have. Most of the whiskey was brought to me by Ken Loong who made it his mission for the night, which was to get me drunk. Miraculously, I didn't get a hangover the next day, YAY!! and instead, he did.LOL. And to add to the thank yous, thanks Thomas for carrying me into Ziyin's car and thank you Ziyin foe being the driver. haha...and as for Sam and Mei San, thanks for letting me expose my underwear to the world and laughing and camwhoring as I lay there dying. hahah..I love you bitches! <3>

• 19 pt 1
• 19 pt 2
  

...........enjoy! (:

Now a little on the relationship department..
uhh.. lately after whats been happening, I'm no more in a position where I can complain about how I don't attract guys.
However, lately all of them boys just seem to ...

1. Have no aim in life.
   Example: I aim to be big in the future, like the CEO of some big shot advertising company or maybe CEO of an event company or if I'm lucky enough, probably own an advertising company or event company. Yeah, I have big dreams. But anyways, back on to the relevant part of the example... so yeah, I am working towards those goals.However those guys are either at a total BLANK at what they want and what they wanna do/be in life OR they are just happy and willing to be a sales person in a shopping mall for the rest of their life. like WTH? I'm not being mean, but I think I should be with someone who has an aim. and sorry, someone who dreams to have be something big and not working for it compared to some one else who is actually working towards it is a TOTALLY different thing altogether. Don't you agree?
   
   
2. Posessing very few or no similar interests.
   I'm completely puzzled with this. I have no idea why the guys I seem to attract have VERY few or no similar interests as I do. Whenever I'm on the phone with them there'd be long and silent pauses as I rack my brains on a topic of conversation that would be interesting and general enough for the boy to actually participate in the conversation instead of listening to me yak for miles about something he has no clue or whatsoever bout that topic. Most of the time, I initially run out of general topics for me to strike up a conversation, till I've realized that I recycle the same topics over and over again with the same person. Boring, no?
   
   
   
3. Having no similar interests in music.
   For example.. guy 1 loves sappy love tunes to listen to when he feels emo/suicidal.
   Guy 2 however is a korean music/drama/movie fanatic. Guy 3 is an "anything'' guy. Whenever I ask them whether they like Indie/Trance/House music, they'd pause for a moment and say 'Yeah yeah I do!'' But God knows they haven't an inkling of an idea what I was talking about.
   
   
4. Have Clingwrap habits.
   What do I mean by Clingwrap habits? Example: Guy 1 started talking bout marriage, kids and growing old with me upon less than a week (4 days?) of knowing him. Guy 2 keep calling/sms-ing to say I love/like you when I barely know him. Guy 3 had to call every damned night to talk on the phone for 4-5 hours about nothing.I totally ran out o stuff to say and kept recycling topics. And guys 1 and 2 would call/sms all the time to ask what I'm doing or where I am, where am I gonna be after I'm done what I'm doing. Geeeez..I hate guys who are go Clingwrap on me. The guy I'd be with is someone who is independent and doesn't need me to report to him where I am or where I'm going, whether I'm in the loo taking a dump or scratching my dog's back every 24/7! I think it's just freaking stupid when guys behave that way. I'm sure they have their own life and things to settle instead Clingwrapping.Don't get me wrong, I totally understand it's fine to know what he or she are doing but to a certain extent I'm sure.
   SPACE boys! SPACE!!

Oh god, I'm getting sick of typing the points out already

After all those flops. I've actually found someone I'm totally into. We can talk, we have similar interests, and he's independent and he has an Internet connection! (: definitely a must have cos I'm an Internet freak as well. So yeah, I like him , I don't think he knows I do. I've no idea whether he is just being really friendly cos he's the type who is great with everyone and girls as well or, he likes me as well but just hasn't said anything. hmmmm..I wonder..

Aaaaannywaaays.. good news!

Above&Beyond are coming to KL for another smashing rave. Can't wait for it!!! Details of the location have yet to be released. Hopefully it'll be out soon enough. I really wanna go for this. Heard their shows are freakin awesome!

Here comes the end of today's update. Don't give up on me or this blog just yet, I've yet to burst back into my blogger mode. hehe.

So much for this post being a quickie.LAWL!

Finals are next week, so, wish me luck! (:
over and out bitches! ---OUT